Vershun’s Brain Dump

There’s something very unique about the affect mountains have on me that I can’t describe. The thin, dry air coupled with guidance of my good friend Liz has lead me to see clearer than I have for years.

I’ve been troubled for a while about someone I care a great deal for. I couldn’t see why, if we were in love with each other, that we couldn’t be together. I couldn’t accept that we were just “wrong” for each other when I knew that you should always be with the person you’re in love with.

It’s an embarrassment, with my love for logic and as an implementer of it in programming, that the most fundamental of all logical arguments has eluded me for so long: a conditional. It is true to me, rationally, that IF we’re in love with each other, THEN we would be together. It’s the discrepancy between what I interpreted as real and my rationality that has caused me so much pain. I was forced to accept something that went against what I considered logical, what I considered right by my own concept of morality. The epiphany is that we do live in a rational world, and my conditional IS correct but my interpretation of what I believed to be true was incorrect. IF we’re in love with each other, THEN we would be together. Put it in its contrapositive form for clarity: IF we’re not together, THEN we’re not in love. After I figured this out the pain went away immediately. It wasn’t about trying to accept the disparity between my mind and the world anymore. In fact, it wasn’t about accepting anything. It was merely seeing what is. The world we live in is rational and facts are not accepted, only known.

Animals were given instincts to use as tools as survival. Man was given rationality and a thinking mind in order to survive. It’s the use of Man’s ability of abstraction that has lead to every great achievement we have today. It is when our rationality coincides with the logic of the natural that we create, invent, and live. When something “just doesn’t make sense,” it is the duty of the individual to check his or her premises to have their concepts coincide with what is fact. Man is fallible, but adaptable if willing to think logically rather than rely on emotion. To not think rationally, as I’m guilty of and what I see frequently in others, is to spit in the face of what has made this species more successful than any other on Earth. Our power of analysis is what makes us human, to not think is to be devoid of humanity. “I think therefore I am” might be better stated, in this light, as “I am, because I think.”

The bastardization of feelings is remarkably prominent in this society. We see it in the media, hear it from friends, and attempt to use them to justify ourselves. “Follow your heart.” “Heart, mind, and soul.” “I know they’re not right for me, but I love them.” Feelings of the heart and thoughts of the mind are in no way mutually exclusive. Feelings are auxiliary functions of thought. Emotions, when used alone, are no more effective than a tank of oil with no machine. Emotions are a moral compass and logical, rational thought is the Magnetic North. They’re meant to inform you when you go off track. Emotional reactions without rational thought is like a spinning compass, going from wild, hedonistic joy to incredible lows. It is by knowing what is right through rational thought, what is north, that true happiness can be obtained through moral clarity.

I believe this is one of the first rises I’ve had to the philosophical free fall I’ve been experiencing for three years. However, I’ve been known to change my mind.

Hooray for worthless blogs and hypocrisy.

I have been under the impression for a long while that the separation of man from the rest of the animal kingdom has simply been that we’ve created a more formalized social system; that our existence is merely a complex set of learned behaviors, remarkably similar to the behaviors of our closest genetic relatives.  Looking at our hierarchical structures, both social and political, it’s an easy stand to justify.

I was wrong.

What makes humans different, what makes us remarkable, is our passion.  An unwaivering resolve to learn, to discover, to create.  To obsess over things that transcend biological imperatives and nurture the sustained joy of following something we truly love.  It’s a rarity to see in a world seemingly content to pursue one simple, hedonistic event after the next; a meandering path from one transient smile to another.  The lack of passion is a resignation from our species, of what it is to be human.

Any contempt I hold for the majority of the population is merely a reflection of my inability to actualize my thoughts.  My concentration dwindles even when I’m passionate about my work.  There is nothing more dehumanizing than being lost.