Vershun’s Brain Dump

I was staying at this place in Toronto that offered furnished temp living or whatever. Essentially it was a hostel with private rooms and there were about 8 other guests.

The owners were a 50-something Asian couple that were cute as a giggling puppy.

Anyway.

So I’m mildly intoxicated and the internet goes out. This makes me angry.

I scour the house looking for the wireless router and I don’t see anything. This is at 2 AM or so and the whole house is asleep except for 1 dude who didn’t speak any English.

So the internet is down. In desperation I start searching cabinets in hopes that they just threw the router in there. Right outside the kitchen I scope this out:

So I figure it has some trinkets or hanging lanterns or whatever the hell people put in cabinets. When I go to open it I’m greeted not with shelves and a wall, but leethax:

As I ducked through there was a separation to the left and a little (tiny in every respect, maybe 3 1/2 foot ceilings too) hacklab, complete with cheap folding chairs, gutted computers, routers, switches, and just a hefty sized chunk of awesome.

Anyway, thought it was cool.

Canada has warnings about smoking with pretty miserable pictures accompanying them.  Examples are:

I tried one of my own:

Approval pending.

So I was working at Panera Bread (the office) and I go outside to smoke and call my friend. All of a sudden a hurricane-esque wind picks up one of their gargantuan umbrellas and throws it into Panera’s glass. I narrowly dodge it and my pride of being Neo from the Matrix almost allows me to ignore all the aghast patrons of this fine establishment looking at me like I’m Osama Bin Laden.

Being the decent fellow that I am, I decide I will fold up this huge umbrella and put the minds of the innocent folks at ease. So I’m just about 4 feet from the enormous death pole that goes down the center of a table when another gust of wind PICKS UP THE FUCKING UMBRELLA AND SHOVES IT INTO MY FUCKING SHOULDER LIKE A SCENE FROM TROY. My arm was rendered useless and through the tears forming in my eyes I saw two attractive ladies laughing gleefully at me.

Anyway, I recovered and gracefully folded up the umbrella as the manager started grabbing the others.

Result:

Later on the same manager came by and said I get a drink on the house next time I come in due to the “umbrella incident.”

Evan: 2
Umbrella/Wind: 1

Fuckers.

This happened a few days ago.  Yesterday I went in there and as I was taking my food to the table I faintly heard him say “that’s the guy that….”  Guess we can’t always choose what we’re famous for.

I still have a pretty good mark on my shoulder from it.  Lindsey called it a “little scratch,” but I’m assuming she was just in shock from seeing such a serious injury.

Sometimes I really annoy myself at the stupid shit I do when I get bored.

Case in point:

Mix in with rest of pack.

P.S.  This blog has turned into a 14 year old girl’s diary.  I apologize.  NO MOAR!