Rough Week
by Vershun on Apr.17, 2008, under Lame
Been trying my best to stay busy, to stay focused, to not let my mind wander down paths that would be hard to find my way back from.
It’s for the better. She will be happier and I will be too.
I love her, very much so. Nothing will change that; love doesn’t equate to possession. But the separation is a constant bruise that even a fleeting thought about makes me wince in pain. Experience tells me that old memories will fade and new memories will soon overcome them; if only time would move quicker.
What stays with you is the feeling that you have burdened the one you love so much that the only way to fix it is to be expunged completely from their life. We all want to be part of that we love, and the thought that being a part of it is equivalent to destroying it weighs heavily on everything I do.
I miss her smile and her laugh. The way she smells, tastes, kisses. How everything faded so quickly when she curled up with me for the night, and how every morning I woke up to her she was all I could think about. I miss her perpetually cold feet on my stomach, her head on my shoulder, her hand in mine. I MISS so much about her, but it’s not what hurts; it’s not why I’m upset.
