Driving to school today someone cut me off and I was actually angry.
A normal response I guess, but I never used to get angry at silly shit like that. I remember laughing on multiple occasions when someone would perform a minor traffic infringement at my expense. So what was different? Why do I let things upset me now in ways I never did before?
By the time I reached school I knew what had changed; I was serious. Never mind the catalyst of the change, it could have been a million things in the past 2-3 years. But the way I related to the world had fundamentally changed and the humor I used to see in everything has been extinguished.
The world, and in particular our lives, are a sort of satirical comedy. A crude and exaggerated mimicry of the “ideal life” we have compiled from friends, family, the media, and a million other sources. I lost this view and completely bought in to the fact that things actually matter. I was watching a satire but believing it to be truth. I don’t want to belittle the depth of other people’s feelings, but for myself and a whole host of other people like me you need to take our feelings in context; and that is that we’re living jokes of lives and anything “deep” we happen to mutter or “great” insights we have are no more profound than the climatic ending of a Saved By the Bell episode.
In short: I need to stop taking everything so fucking seriously, especially myself.
