Speared by an umbrella
by Vershun on Sep.13, 2008, under Random
So I was working at Panera Bread (the office) and I go outside to smoke and call my friend. All of a sudden a hurricane-esque wind picks up one of their gargantuan umbrellas and throws it into Panera’s glass. I narrowly dodge it and my pride of being Neo from the Matrix almost allows me to ignore all the aghast patrons of this fine establishment looking at me like I’m Osama Bin Laden.
Being the decent fellow that I am, I decide I will fold up this huge umbrella and put the minds of the innocent folks at ease. So I’m just about 4 feet from the enormous death pole that goes down the center of a table when another gust of wind PICKS UP THE FUCKING UMBRELLA AND SHOVES IT INTO MY FUCKING SHOULDER LIKE A SCENE FROM TROY. My arm was rendered useless and through the tears forming in my eyes I saw two attractive ladies laughing gleefully at me.
Anyway, I recovered and gracefully folded up the umbrella as the manager started grabbing the others.
Result:
Later on the same manager came by and said I get a drink on the house next time I come in due to the “umbrella incident.”
Evan: 2
Umbrella/Wind: 1
Fuckers.
This happened a few days ago. Yesterday I went in there and as I was taking my food to the table I faintly heard him say “that’s the guy that….” Guess we can’t always choose what we’re famous for.
I still have a pretty good mark on my shoulder from it. Lindsey called it a “little scratch,” but I’m assuming she was just in shock from seeing such a serious injury.
